


Be Still My Heart

by whats_up_mari



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Stiles Stilinski, Bisexuality, Consensual Underage Sex, M/M, Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Sexuality, Underage Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-08 13:44:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1943364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whats_up_mari/pseuds/whats_up_mari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is not fond of Liam, and he's also definitely not into dudes. I mean, look at Malia!<br/>But then, he's alone in the locker room with Liam, who takes him by surprise. Yes, that's why his heart was beating so fast. That was the only reason... Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the scene in the format of a screenplay.  
> The next chapters are NOT written as a screenplay.
> 
> WARNING: this work may contain SPOILERS for the season 4 of Teen Wolf in general, especially the episodes that feature Liam.
> 
> I do not own these characters. They were created by and belong to Jeff Davis.  
> \---
> 
> The song of the title is Be Still My Heart, by Peter Bradley Adams (listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmcwTJM412M)
> 
> My tumblr is soldtothedevil.tumblr.com

FADE IN:

INT. LOCKER ROOM AT BEACON HILLS HIGH SCHOOL - DAY

SCOTT and STILES watch as LIAM puts his Lacrosse equipment inside his locker. Except for the three of them, the locker room is empty.

STILES  
He was already a good player before you bit him. Now he’s going to be, like, inhumanly good!

SCOTT  
Stiles, keep it down! And stop staring.

Scott looks away from Liam and takes off his Beacon Hills jersey, putting on a t-shirt.

SCOTT (CONT’D)  
Anyway, he’s controlling himself just fine. He’s a quick learner.

Scott’s mobile phone vibrates inside his locker. He takes it and starts typing on it quickly. Stiles finally looks away from Liam.

STILES  
(sarcastically)  
I’m sure he is.

SCOTT  
(absentmindedly)  
Yeah… Look, I’ve got to go meet Kira now. See you later!

Scott leaves the locker room smiling.

STILES  
See you.

Stiles grabs a t-shirt from his locker. Liam approaches him from behind and rests a hand on his shoulder. Stiles startles.

LIAM  
(smirking)  
Hey.

Liam raises both of his hands in the air showing he means no harm as Stiles turns to face him.

STILES  
Don’t you ever do that again, unless you want to kill me. I mean, don’t do that at all!

LIAM  
Relax, Stilinski. Where’s Scott?

STILES  
He’s with Kira, probably.

Stiles glances at Liam’s lips unconsciously for a second. They make eye contact for a brief moment. Liam leans forward and plants a kiss on Stiles’ lips. Stiles gasps in surprise, but doesn’t back away immediately. Liam pulls back and scans Stiles’ facial expression.

STILES (CONT'D)  
(blushing)  
Uh... I-I don’t know what just happened. I mean, I’m flattered that you find me attractive enough to k-… Uh, to do what you just did…

LIAM  
(looking down)  
I-

STILES  
But I’m not into dudes, dude!

Liam looks up at him, a sly smile forming on his lips.

LIAM  
You do know I can hear your heartbeats, right?

Stiles opens his mouth as if he's about to say something, but closes it instantly. His face turns red. Still holding his t-shirt with his right hand and wearing his jersey, he pushes Liam to his left and stumbles away from the locker room without looking back. Liam looks down again and smiles to himself.

FADE OUT.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malia goes to Stiles' house that night, like she does every night. But for Stiles it seems tonight is not like every night.  
> AKA Stiles is not in the mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this work may contain SPOILERS for the season 4 of Teen Wolf in general, especially the episodes that feature Liam.

Stiles went to the bathroom, his heart still beating fast. He took off his jersey and put on the t-shirt.  He looked in the mirror and touched his lips with the tip of his fingers, thinking about what happened. It was time for him to go home, but he didn’t want to risk bumping into Liam. This thought made him feel an odd sensation in his stomach.

 _Get it together, damn it_ , Stiles thought, closing his eyes. After about a minute, when his heart was steady again, he opened his eyes and walked out of the bathroom. No sign of Liam, Scott or Kira, or Malia. He went straight to his jeep and drove home.

That night, lying in his bed staring at the ceiling, he thought about Malia, Lydia and every girl he had a crush on… and about Derek and Danny and how he felt when he was around them. And then he thought about Liam. Just thinking of his name sent a shiver down his spine. “Liam”, he said out loud and bit his bottom lip, feeling that weird sensation in his stomach again.

A minute after that, Malia went inside his room through the window. A window Stiles had learned to always leave open, especially in afternoons and nights. Every night, actually.

He sat in his bed and lifted his right arm, as if trying to reach her. “Come here”, he said. And so she  did, with a smile on her face. They lay down together on their sides, looking at each other. Malia pressed their bodies together, closing the space between them. She kissed Stiles passionately, and he kissed back. They’ve changed positions, now Malia was on top of him, her legs each on Stiles’ sides, knees on the mattress. At any other night, Stiles would be hard by now, but not tonight. Apparently Malia sensed it, ‘cause she pulled back and looked at him confused. She then sat back on the mattress by Stiles’ left side.

“What’s wrong?”, she asked.

_Shit._

”Nothing’s wrong, I’m just not in the mood I guess”, he answered.

“That means you don’t want to…?”, she asked. She seemed confused and sad.

Stiles sat on the bed and looked her in the eyes.

“It means”, he started, “that I’m probably tired because of the training today. The problems is definitely not you, trust me.”

Malia frowned, which made Stiles feel worse. She got out of bed and headed to the window. Stiles went after her and held her by the elbow. She turned to face him and it looked like she was about to cry.

“You’re rejecting me”, she hissed.

“No, no, I’m not! I’m just tired, and I’m not kicking you out! You can sleep here”, he replied.

She released her arm from his grip, but didn’t move from where she was standing. She was, Stiles noticed, pretty intimidating. But in a cute way, somehow. Like a tiger cub maybe.

“Sorry”, she mumbled. “It’s fine… but I don’t wanna sleep here tonight” she said.

Right then Stiles realized he just wanted a distraction so he wouldn’t think about Liam, or about why he didn’t pull back when Liam… did _that_. He really liked Malia and her presence, her smell, everything… but maybe he did need some time alone to assess these new found feelings.

“Yeah, okay”, he muttered. She turned away and went out through the window.

Stiles went back to bed and closed his eyes. He wondered what would have happened if Liam hadn’t backed away, what he’d have done. Maybe it was just a joke. Maybe Liam had lost a bet or something. Some minutes later, he fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott asks for Stiles' help with Liam on the full moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for 4x04 and season 4 so far, in general.

“Stiles, you’re gonna be late!”, Sheriff Stilinksi exclaimed. Stiles opened his eyes and looked at the clock on his nightstand, groaning. For some reason, his alarm didn't go off. He got out of bed, took a quick shower and drove to school. He remembered having a nice dream, one of those dreams that make you warm inside, but are forgotten as soon as you wake up. A dream that somehow got stuck on the back of his mind and made him feel odd, even though he couldn't remember it at all.

Scott was standing by his locker, staring at his phone’s screen. He looked up when Stiles approached him.

“Apparently Peter killed the no-mouth guy before your dad and Derek got a chance to question him”, he said. God, they couldn’t have one normal week at Beacon Hills without a shitstorm of deadly supernatural things happening.

“Right. This guy killed that wendigo kid. So he was, what, hired to hunt supernatural beings here?”, Stiles asked.

“I don’t know, man. Maybe. Remember after that night at Lydia’s lake house, she said she found a list of every supernatural being at Beacon Hills. We need to figure this out”, Scott replied.

“Yeah… Well, don’t forget tonight’s a full moon. What are you gonna do about Liam?”, Stiles asked. Of course he was just asking that because he wanted to make sure no one would get hurt. He didn’t care about Liam. But the kid was, after all, Scott’s Beta.

“About that… Listen, since we can’t go to Lydia’s house tonight, we’re gonna stay in my place. I’m gonna need your help. Can you come over tonight?”, Scott asked, his eyes shining.

“Why? I thought he was controlling himself just fine”, Stiles answered sarcastically.

“He is, most of the time. I mean, you know about his anger issues. Sometimes he loses his focus and then loses his temper. But he’s getting better at it. So, you’re coming?”. Scott was an Alpha, but he sure looked like a puppy when he asked for Stiles’ help like that. And Stiles couldn’t say no to this face.

“Yeah…”, he finally said, feeling defeated.

“Thanks, dude!”, Scott smirked. “I better go to class. See you.”

Stiles walked to his math class feeling sleepy and slightly hungry. Malia was waiting for him by the door. She hugged him without saying word, then pulled back and looked at him.

“I hate math”, she sighed. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, and she looked really young and cute.

“You always say that, Malia. But now that Lydia lent you less confusing notes, and you have me as a studying buddy, I’m sure you won’t fail this class.”, Stiles said, smiling. Just a second before going inside the classroom, Stiles noticed Liam walking down the hallway with Mason. Liam glanced at him and turned away.

 _What was that? And why the hell do I care anyway?_ , Stiles thought. He needed to get a grip, for god’s sake. Liam’s a freshman werewolf with anger issues. He’s Scott’s Beta. And more importantly, he’s a _dude_. Stiles tried not to think about it as he sat down behind Malia in the classroom.

Except he couldn’t think of anything but Liam. He felt like he left things unresolved. He needed to make things clear, to go up to Liam and say he was not interested in guys. He needed to tell Liam he was not interested in _him_ , for that matter.

That night, Stiles went to Scott’s house alone since Malia was now able to control herself. Scott opened the door and lead him to the living room, where Liam was sitting on the couch. Upon making eye contact with him, Stiles’ stomach flipped. He was nervous and anxious, and he wasn’t even sure why. Scott stared at him slightly worried.

“Are you okay?”, he asked.

“Yes. A hundred percent. I’ve never been okay-er. Why?”, Stiles stuttered, looking at Scott.

“Your heart…”, Scott said slowly.

“Ah, I’m just… worried. You know, just anxious about the full moon. With all the supernatural shit that goes on here and whatnot.”, Stiles replied.

Liam lowered his head and started to growl. Scott’s and Stiles’ attention then shifted to him. As he looked up, his eyes turned yellow and he snarled. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam still has a lot to learn in terms of self control and dealing with his anger. Can Scott and Stiles really help him?  
> Stiles has quite a few things to learn in terms of dealing with some emotions too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May contain spoilers for season 4 in general.

Stiles instinctively took a step back. How could he help Scott with this, he thought, when he was only human.

“Liam, I need you to calm down”, Scott said in a low voice. It wasn’t his Alpha voice, though. It was just his serious voice. “Let your anger go and concentrate on something else, something that makes you feel good”, he continued.

Liam was panting and growling. His facial expression was undecipherable for a moment, and then he winced. He didn’t want to go through this every month, which was completely understandable. His body was changing and doing things that he couldn’t help. Maybe it hurt. Maybe he’d feel like he was no longer in his body. Like he was going insane for a moment and it was something that was completely out of his control. But at the same time, he was aware of everything; he was conscious.

That might be the worst thing ever, Stiles thought. And then he vaguely remembered that he has similar sensations and thoughts when he’s having a panic attack. Those two things – being a werewolf and having anxiety – were obviously impossible to compare to each other. Stiles could only imagine what Scott went through, and what Liam was going through right now.

For some reason, seeing Liam like this made Stiles feel awful. He walked up to Scott, who was standing between the couch and the coffee table, looking down at Liam.

“He won’t hurt you”, Scott said. He was probably listening to Stiles’ heartbeat. But Stiles wasn’t scared, or worried about Liam hurting him. His heart was beating fast because of what he was about to do. He kneeled down in front of Liam and placed a hand on his shoulder. Liam was staring at him the whole time, not once breaking eye contact. He was still puffing, and his eyes were golden.

“Breathe with me, Liam”, Stiles said in a calm voice. “Breathe in and out.”

And so he did. Both of them did, with locked eyes. Stiles could feel Scott staring at the back of his neck. After what seemed like a long silence, Scott spoke in a confused tone, “his heart’s still beating fast, Stiles.”

Stiles turned his body slightly, knees still on the floor, just so he could look at Scott. “What do you mean? I-“, before he could finish, Liam moved suddenly, making Stiles turn to face him again. In less than a second, the kid’s firm hand was around his neck. Liam looked wild and out of control, standing up and pulling Stiles up with him like he was a rag doll.

Now Stiles was definitely scared, but he didn’t have much time to think about it. As the air left his lungs, it was like his thoughts left his mind. He felt numb, weak and helpless. Before he could lose consciousness, Scott buried his claws on Liam’s arm making him release Stiles from his grip. He fell on the floor grasping for air.

Scott grabbed Liam’s arms, looking him dead in the eye. “Liam, stop”, he commanded. It came out like a growl. There it was, Scott’s Alpha voice. After some struggle on Liam’s part, his eyes finally changed back to their regular blue color, and his claws and pointy teeth were gone too. From where Stiles was (lying on the floor), the kid looked frightened and lost. When their eyes met, Stiles quickly stood up, feeling a little nauseous because of the abrupt movement.

“Hey, I-I’m okay. Everything’s okay, see?”, Stiles stuttered, turning around so Liam could inspect him and see he was mostly unharmed.

The kid had tears in his eyes and his lips were trembling. He mumbled something that sounded like “I’m sorry” and ran upstairs. Despite the many different things Stiles was feeling right now, the first thought that popped in his mind was: _why is he going upstairs, not going back to his place?_

He looked at Scott questioningly, who in turn looked at him with somewhat guilt in his eyes. As if reading Stiles’ thought, the werewolf said “I told him he could crash here. He’s still scared of hurting his family on full moons, you know…”

“Yeah, he should”, Stiles sounded rude and insensitive, which was usual when it came to Liam. Only this time it was unintentional. “Anyway, why didn’t you use your Alpha mojo before he’d lost control?”

“Because”, Scott started what was likely to be a poor attempt at a terrible explanation, “I want him to be able to control himself without me having to do it for him. Besides, I thought that maybe he’d listen to you. The plan was for him to, like, focus on your presence. Or… I don’t know, man. I just saw things that weren’t there I guess. I honestly thought he wouldn’t hurt _you_ …”, he said, stressing the last word.

“As always, your plan sucked”, Stiles said sarcastically.

But something in the way Scott spoke made him recall the locker room episode, which reminded him of the exchanging-looks-in-the-hallway-thing, which in turn brought the heart-beating-fast occurrences into his mind, which finally made him think about the whole do-I-like-guys-too-or-do-I-just-like-Liam situation.

And that was a situation Stiles was trying to avoid for many reasons. First of all, he really liked Malia, and she still turned him on. He surely liked girls. But then again, he also kind of had a crush on Derek at some point, although he’d never admit it. Also, the plan was to tell Liam that the kiss was never supposed to happen and that he wasn’t even remotely attracted to guys, and especially not _him_. But guess what? Stiles’ plan sucked too.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack now has the complete dead pool. Everyone's on it (except Stiles obviously).
> 
> There's a lacrosse game tonight and they think one of the assassins might be on the team. Stiles is worried about Liam, but would never admit it. Liam confronts him about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long, I've been really busy.  
> I've been trying to include some canon things that happened, but changing them a little (or maybe a lot).  
> \--  
> Spoilers for 4x05 and 4x06, and season 4 so far, in general.

Some weeks have passed, and Lydia had found out the complete hit list. Stiles wasn’t included, of course, but he was freaking out about it nonetheless, for obvious reasons. His best friends were on that dead pool, which means they were in constant danger. Liam was also on there, but Scott had decided not to tell him just yet. The thought of something horrible happening to Liam made Stiles feel sick.

At Lydia’s party someone killed Demarco, the keg guy every teenager in Beacon Hills knew. Whoever ordered the keg that night knew about the list, and knew that Demarco was a werewolf. That meant that the assassin, aka the person who ordered the keg, was a freshman at Beacon Hills.

There were so many things to worry about. On top of all that, the first lacrosse game of the season was tonight. Scott, Stiles and Kira were in an empty classroom. Stiles was the first one to connect the dots. He proceeded to tell them that the assassin was probably on the lacrosse team, something he concluded after seeing some pictures of the victim’s bodies at Coach’s class earlier today, and comparing some marks and scars to the shape of a lacrosse stick.

 “You know what that means right?” Stiles asked.

“That it might be Garrett.” Scott answered.

“You guys shouldn’t play tonight. He’ll probably try something.” Stiles said.

 “I’m not scared.” Kira stated.

“I’m not scared either.” Scott said.

“Well, I’m freaking out and I’m not even on the list!” Stiles exclaimed. “Plus, Liam’s on the list and we didn’t tell him.” Stiles said. “Garrett might know that and Liam could be in danger.”

 “You’re right.” Scott said, his brow furrowing. “We should get out of here though. Let’s talk about this later.”

The three of them went out of the classroom. Scott and Stiles went to the left, and Kira went to the right.

xxxxxxx

Liam and Mason were standing in front of their lockers.

“Are you worried about tonight’s game?” Mason asked.

“I’m fine.” Liam replied, opening his locker and shoving some books in his backpack.

“Dude, didn’t you see who you’re playing against?” Mason asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Liam said absentmindedly. Then he tried to remember if he actually knew it. All that werewolf/supernatural/dead pool thing was really messing with his head. “Um, actually no. I don’t think I’ve got the memo.” he acknowledged after a minute.

Mason looked at him with a serious expression before answering, “It’s your old school, Liam. It’s Devenford Prep.”

After receiving that information, Liam’s jaw tightened. He clenched his fists and walked outside, where his old school’s bus was parked. Mason quickly followed him, asking him to wait and to not go there.  Liam didn’t listen. He walked up to the tallest guy who was standing in front of the bus.

“Hello, Brett.” he said.

“Hello, Liam.” Brett answered in a mocking tone.

“I just wanted to say…” Liam started. Millions of thoughts crossed his mind. By that time, a circle of people had formed around the two kids, and Scott and Stiles were among the students in that circle. Liam wanted to prove to Scott – and to himself – that he could control his anger and keep his head in the game. But more than that, he _needed_ to prove it to Stiles. “I hope we have a good game…” he concluded, unclenching his fists and reaching out to shake Brett’ s hand.

Brett, however, left him hanging. Instead he smirked and said, “Hell no. I’m gonna crush you. I’m gonna make you pay for what you did.”

That was it. A wave of anger washed through Liam’s body entirely. It was too overwhelming. He was red in the face and his veins were popping. He closed his hands in fists again, his arms now hanging on his sides, and he could feel his claws cutting his skin and blood dripping on the ground.

“Shit!” Scott exclaimed upon noticing it. He quickly walked up to Liam, followed by Stiles. Both of them, standing on each side of Liam, rested their hands on his shoulders, restraining him.

“Hello! Welcome to Beacon Hills, we’re glad to have you guys here. Enjoy your stay, and see ya at the game tonight!” Stiles mumbled, smiling like a dork. Brett gave him a dirty look before they grabbed Liam by his shirt and walked away with him.

They went into the locker room and closed the door. Stiles turned on the shower and they shoved Liam under the cold water, his back hitting the wall. His eyes were now yellow and he was roaring.

“Hold him!” Scott yelled.

“I’m trying!” Stiles exclaimed.

After  5 minutes of constantly pushing Liam under the shower, the kid finally shouted, “Okay, okay, that's enough!” His face went back to normal, his eyes a slightly darker shade of blue. He slid down the wall, sitting on the floor.

“I’m sorry...” he said, looking down.

Scott turned off the shower and looked at him, a worried expression on his face. “Liam, you can’t play tonight.” he spoke.

 “What? No, I can control myself, I swear!” Liam exclaimed, frowning. He looked up at Stiles, as if silently asking for his help in convincing Scott.

“You’re on the list and we’re 99% sure Garrett is the assassin who killed the keg guy at Lydia's party, so you might be in danger tonight.” Stiles stuttered. Scott explained how they connected the dots. Liam looked confused for a moment, then betrayed, and then finally determined.

 “I can do it!” he said. He glanced at Stiles. “Especially if you guys are there.”

xxxxxxx

Both lacrosse teams were on the field. Stiles was anxious and he was trying his hardest not to show it. Suddenly his crush on Liam seemed like the least of his concerns. He just wished he could protect Liam tonight, but he felt useless. Scott was Liam’s alpha and would always be the only one to have some kind of power over him. Scott would forever be the one Liam trusted the most, and the only person who could truly protect him. Stiles could never compete with him, he’d never have that alpha-beta bond they share.

 _Wait… compete?_ , Stiles thought. _Am I seriously **jealous** of my best friend because of this kid?_

Maybe _Liam_ had a power over _him_ , and Stiles hoped to hell he’d never find that out. He wasn’t sure if admitting to himself that he had a crush on Liam and that he got jealous of him was something he could call progress, or if it was the opposite of it. He only knew two things: 1. There was no way in hell he’d admit that out loud to anyone else ever; 2. What mattered to him now was Liam’s safety. Therefore he’d gladly ignore his feelings and thoughts for however long he had to.

The game started. Players were running around the field, bumping into each other. Brett marked the first goal. Kira marked a goal and everyone cheered her. Scott looked proud as he smiled at her, but then Coach took her out of the game.

Moments after that, Garrett, Liam and Brett collided in the air. Liam and Brett fell on the floor, and Garrett was still standing. Brett was howling in pain, his face twisted. Liam grimaced too. Stiles and Scott ran to where they were lying on the floor and helped Liam get up. They walked away from Brett as the paramedics went to help him.

“Are you okay, did he hurt you? Did Garrett cut you?!” Stiles asked, examining Liam’s arms with his hands, his voice full of worry.

“I’m okay!” Liam replied, breathing heavily. Stiles could feel Scott’s eyes on him.

Liam stayed out for the rest of the game. After it was over everyone went to the locker room, including Kira and Scott. Liam, however, wanted Stiles to meet him behind the benches, and so he did.

“You were right, I shouldn’t have played at all,” he started, “And I’m sorry if I got you worried”.

“Yeah… It was worrying, you know. Scott would be devastated if you got hurt, and I didn’t want that to happen.” Stiles said. He was obviously trying to sound like he was worried only because Liam was Scott’s beta.

“And that’s it? That’s the reason you were worried?” Liam asked. He sounded a bit disappointed.

“Well, yes. Also you’re a ticking bomb, so you shouldn’t be playing even if there was no professional teenage assassin pretending to be your friend. You even said you stopped taking your meds so I guess it makes you twice as dangerous.” Stiles replied. He immediately regretted talking to Liam like that. Covering his feelings with extra sarcasm and rudeness was a dick move. Also, this boy who’s full of himself was here apologizing and it couldn’t be easy for him to do so. For a moment there, Stiles was a little scared that Liam would get angry. But instead, he just raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“You like me.” he simply said.

“W-what?” Stiles stuttered. His stomach flipped. “I don’t-“ he started.

“You’re lying. I can hear your heartbeats. At first I wasn’t sure, but this past weeks I started noticing how your smell changes when you’re around me. And when it’s just the both of us, I can hear your heart more clearly. Why can’t you just admit it?”

_Great. That was a trap so we could be alone, so he could use his werewolf senses on me. Say something, Stiles. Come on._

“Why can’t I just admit it?” Stiles repeated Liam’s question. Liam nodded affirmatively. “Because,” Stiles continued, “The only reason we even know each other is because Scott bit you. Because you’re a freshman and this is my last year. Because you can’t just come into our lives, into _my_ life, like that and make me question everything about myself. Because I’m seeing someone, a girl, and I like her. Because I’m.not.gay.”

His heart was pounding. He wanted to run away from there, from Liam, but most of all away from his own mind. There was a mess inside of his head and all of his thoughts were tangled. He couldn’t think… straight. So as to speak.

But before he could say or do anything, Liam closed the space between them and kissed him. His mind went blank. He felt Liam’s warm lips on his, and neither of them moved. They stood still, eyes closed, until Liam placed his hands on Stiles’ cheeks. The younger boy opened his mouth as an invitation to him, but all of Stiles’ thoughts suddenly came back and he realized what was happening. He immediately pulled away, a hand on Liam’s chest.

“I’m sorry.” his voice came out a whisper. Liam frowned. He did that a lot. Maybe he and Malia went to the same frowning-school where Derek was their teacher.

“I’m sorry,” Stiles said again. “I can’t do this, I just can’t.” He looked at Liam apologetically and turned around, half jogging away from behind the benches and into the school.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is worried about his friends since more assassins are coming to Beacon Hills. They need to figure out who the Benefactor is.  
> He also can't take Liam and that kiss off his mind.  
> During the bonfire party, he almost loses Liam again. Now he has to ask himself; is he ready to admit and accept his feelings for Liam?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for 4x08 and 4x09, and season 4 so far, in general.

Stiles was with Lydia in his room. Lorraine, Lydia’s grandmother, left a code for her to find out a fourth password to another possible part of the hit list. They were trying to connect the dots and find out if her grandmother faked her death and was, in fact, the Benefactor.

Everything was going to shit as more professional assassins were showing up in Beacon Hills. Also, Stiles couldn’t take Liam off his mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about that moment they shared after the Lacrosse game a couple of weeks ago. Liam kissed him, for god’s sake. Just the thought of their lips pressed together, warm and soft, sent shivers down his spine. But thinking about the kid made Stiles’ heart feel heavy somehow. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that, although Stiles was just a weak and fragile human, he was worried sick about Liam at all times.

Stiles almost got killed when he was taking the SAT along with Scott, Kira and Malia last week. Fortunately, Mr. McCall showed up right on time and saved his life. He was so prepared to die for his friends, and he remembered feeling relieved that Liam wasn’t there. Even with a gun pointing at his head, he felt calm because he knew his death would mean Scott would live, which consequently would result in the alpha continuing to protect his pack. And maybe, just maybe, it would mean Stiles would have finally paid for everything he did while he was possessed. He felt a lump on his throat at the memories. Specially at the memory of _Allison_.

On top of everything, during the SAT incident Malia found out Stiles was hiding something from her: that she was, in fact, a Hale. And so they weren’t on speaking terms anymore and that drove him insane.

He was thankful, however, for being alive. Although the whole dead pool situation was getting worse by the day, he just wanted to help in every way he possibly could. Perhaps that was the reason he was holding on to life even after everything; so none of it would have been in vain; _Allison’s sacrifice_ wouldn’t have been in vain. His friends, his _pack_ saved his life and now they needed him.

“Stiles! Are you listening to me?” Lydia’s voice snapped Stiles out of his thoughts.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” Stiles asked.

“I need your help to find out the password.” she said.

After a few tries, they were able to figure it out. The only name Lydia recognized from that list was her grandmother’s.

They decided to check the other names with Parrish, who was now completely involved in the whole thing after being burned and inexplicably surviving. No one knew what he was, including himself. But now he knew about Scott and the pack, he was helping them. Parrish found a pattern after searching for the names on his computer. All the people on that list had killed themselves at Eichen House.

“We need to go there.” Lydia stated.

Before Stiles could say anything, his phone started buzzing. He took it out of his pocket and saw Scott’s name on the screen. Scott was at school, so why was he calling?

“Scott, everything okay?” he tried not to sound too worried.

“Hey, man. Listen,” Scott started and Stiles immediately had a bad feeling about what he was going to say. “Last night Liam’s printer started printing out by itself even after he turned it off. He showed me what it had printed, and it’s the dead pool but slightly different… Derek’s not on it anymore…”

“So that’s a good thing, right?” Stiles interrupted, nervously.

“And Liam is now worth not 4, but 18 million dollars.” he finished. Stiles’ stomach dropped and his mouth was wide open.

“Stiles?” Scott said, apprehensive.

“T-that’s,” Stiles stuttered. “That’s so fucked up for so many reasons.” that was all he could say.

“I know…” Scott replied. “That and the fact that the guy who tried to kill Parrish wasn’t a professional killer… it means that maybe just about _anyone_ can have access to the list now.”

By that time, Parrish and Lydia had gone to the Eichen House to investigate what was up with Lorraine’s list.

“But listen, tonight’s the bonfire party and I need your help to make sure no one gets hurt. We need to keep an eye on Liam.” Scott explained.

“Okay, I’ll be there.” Stiles said, way too fast.

xxxxxxx

Every single Beacon Hills’ student was at the party. And everyone from the Lacrosse team was wearing their jersey, except for Scott and Stiles. A bunch of teenagers were dancing and drinking, unaware of the dangers surrounding this screwed up town.

“Hey,” Scott said loudly, “Malia’s here, look.” he pointed out to where Malia was dancing frantically and drinking from a flask. Stiles felt a sharp guilty emotion and Scott probably sensed it.

“I’ll go talk to her.” the alpha said. And so he went.

Stiles stood there looking at their general direction. Malia looked annoyed when Scott started talking to her, and slightly sad. He couldn’t help but feel miserable himself. After what they’ve been through, he couldn’t just ignore her existence. Although apparently she could ignore his. She was drinking from her flask every minute, so she probably didn’t know she couldn’t get drunk. Then she pointed with her finger at the opposite direction, and Stiles followed it, turning around.

She was pointing at Liam, who was sitting on a table with Mason. He was downing bottle after bottle of some drink, probably trying to get drunk too. Hell, Stiles should get drunk too. Liam looked nervous and uneasy, clearly. Stiles felt bad for him and the fact that werewolves couldn’t get intoxicated. But suddenly, when Liam stood up, he tripped on his feet and appeared to be dizzy. _How’s that possible?_ , Stiles thought. That couldn’t be a good thing.

He walked up to Liam and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked loudly.

“What’s up!” Liam exclaimed, leaning on Stiles. “I think I’m drunk” he said.

His body suddenly tensed up and he looked unsure and sick.

“I don’t feel so good.” he said, looking up at Stiles and frowning.

Stiles noticed that Scott was now holding Malia in a similar manner to which he was holding Liam. _Shit_ , he thought, _we need to get out of here._

“I think he’s not feeling well, I’m gonna get him out of here.” he said to Mason. After all, the boy was Liam’s best friend and he was probably feeling lost, not knowing all the shit that was going on in his friend’s life.

Before Mason could answer or complain, Stiles started walking away as fast as he could placing his left arm around Liam’s waist and Liam’s right arm around his shoulder. Scott followed them, helping Malia. The music got louder and it made Liam and Malia feel like they were about to pass out. Scott then fell on his knees, along with Malia.

“It’s the music!” Scott yelled. “You need to turn off the music!”

“Scott!” Stiles exclaimed, when two large men appeared and took them –Scott and Malia – by their arms, dragging them inside the school. A third man grasped Liam’s right arm and Stiles screamed and tried to fight him, but he easily pushed him to the ground. He fell on his back and winced, feeling a jolt of pain.

It happened so fast, and when Stiles looked around they were already gone. He quickly got up, ignoring the pain, and limped towards the DJ, who had a devious smile on his face. He was able to pull a cable and turn off the music. He then ran in the direction of the school’s entrance  and stormed through the door just in time to witness as Derek and Braeden fought the three guys, while Scott, Malia and Liam lay helpless and wet on the floor. Braeden snapped one of the guys’ neck with a ‘click’, which made Stiles feel nauseous. Derek was already helping Scott up, so he walked up to Liam and Malia.

“Hey, are you guys okay?!” he asked full of concern, squatting and stretching his hand to help them up. Malia scowled and got up by herself.

“Malia, wait!” he yelled, following her with his eyes as she walked out the door without looking back. He turned back to face Liam, who was now sitting, his back on the lockers.

Stiles positioned both of his hands on Liam’s shoulders and scanned him with a serious expression on his face. He then placed one of his hands on Liam’s cheek. Scott and Derek stared down at them and then exchanged a meaningful look. Braeden crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. Stiles closed his eyes and felt a rush of heat and adrenaline pass through his body, his heart pounding. He sighed, opened his eyes and pulled Liam up by his arms. Now the three of them were watching him quizzically, which was a bit annoying and completely understandable.

Stiles was getting really tired of lying to himself, and also to others. Honestly, he had already lost Malia’s trust because of his lies. He missed her, and sure, he liked her. But he wasn’t _in love_ with her. Not anymore.

Now this was the second time he had almost lost Liam. This selfish kid who made him question everything about himself, and made his heart beat faster. This kid who made him stumble on his words. Who _kissed_ him and made him run away like a coward. This kid who already _knew_ how Stiles felt. So maybe it was time he’d admit it to himself too. Not only admit it, but also accept it. It was a fact.

Scott looked at him and Liam, and then turned to Braeden and Derek and said “we should call the Sheriff so he can do something about this”, pointing at the three bodies.

“We should.” Derek said calmly.

Stiles glanced at Scott, who shook his head encouragingly, and touched Liam’s elbow lightly, gesturing towards the door. Liam looked confused, but followed him anyway. The party wasn’t even happening anymore and there were only a few drunk teenagers here and  there. Stiles took Liam to an empty spot, away from where anyone could see them and from where Mason was still waiting for them. They stood facing each other.

“What was that about?” Liam asked, raising his eyebrows.

Stiles sucked his teeth, thinking about a million ways to say what he wanted to say. He knew they couldn’t stay there for much longer. His dad would probably demand some explanations when he arrived.

After a long pause, he took a deep breath and once again placed one hand on Liam’s cheek. His heart wasn’t pounding anymore. Oddly enough, he felt very calm. He felt that kind of tranquility one feels when they’ve finally made a decision after being anxious about the matter for so long.

He took a step forward, gazing at Liam warmly. He was attracted to the boy like he had never been attracted to a guy before. With everything he had been through, with all the dangerous supernatural shit he had had to deal with since Scott was bitten, it sounded silly to think that the way he felt about Liam was _scary_ to him. But it was.

And Liam, who usually acted all witty and collected whenever a circumstance of proximity and intimacy with Stiles presented itself, was now blushing and feeling butterflies in his stomach. However, he found himself unable to look away, eager to know what was going to happen next, although anyone could have guessed.

Stiles leaned in and slid his hand to the nape of Liam’s neck, making him quiver lightly, and planted a kiss on the younger boy’s lips. Liam hesitantly put his arms around Stiles shoulders, and when the older boy moved his body closer, he held onto him more firmly. The height difference made the position a bit awkward, so Stiles moved his arms and placed them around Liam’s waist. Now he could properly embrace the kid strongly. Liam opened his mouth only slightly, making way for Stiles’ tongue to explore it. They kissed passionately for god knows how much time, until they were breathless and needed to grasp for air. It still wasn’t enough, but Stiles decided to hug Liam tightly instead of kissing him again, resting his head on the kid’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry”, he whispered in a heartfelt way, closing his eyes.

“You really need to stop saying that.” Liam said, and Stiles just knew he was smirking.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles gives Liam a ride after the crazy night they've had at the bonfire party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for season 4 so far, in general.

After giving Sheriff Stilinski an explanation, Stiles decided to take Liam home. They thanked Mason for waiting for them, and when Stiles mentioned he was going to give his best friend a ride, his gaze narrowed into a squint and he just nodded.

They were silent for most of the ride, although there were lots of things they could have talked about. Liam had a frown on his face as he looked out the window. Stiles could understand why he might be upset, since he almost got set on fire only a few hours ago. The lack of conversation made him feel awkward; after all, they had kissed each other avidly moments before.

Stiles decided to turn on the radio, and “Let me in” by Grouplove started playing in the background. He was paying attention to the lyrics, and he couldn’t help but tap the steering wheel to the rhythm of the song. Liam turned his head and looked at the older boy with a half-smile plastered on his lips. Stiles immediately felt warm inside as he faced Liam.

“It’s a very catchy song,” Stiles remarked.

“Hm-hmm, very.” Liam simply said, still half-smiling like an adorable dork.

“We’re here.” he pointed out, right when the song ended.

Stiles parked the jeep in front of Liam’s huge house and turned the engine off.

“We’re here,” he repeated the young boy’s words.

“Do you maybe wanna come in?” Liam asked, gesturing towards the house.

And so they did. The house was even bigger on the inside, although the lights were all off. Liam guided him upstairs to his bedroom, which was a mess of books and clothes on the floor. Both boys sat on the bed and none of them said anything for a while.

Stiles’ heart was already pounding again. He was alone with Liam on the boy’s room in the dark, sitting on his bed. Sure, he was still slightly confused about what he felt, but he was only human and damn, was Liam hot.

They were still in silence, when suddenly the younger boy touched his left arm gently as if he wasn’t sure about what to do in that situation. Stiles turned and faced him in the dark, and although he couldn’t quite read Liam’s expression, he noticed how he slowly nodded his head positively like he was giving him permission. That was it.

Stiles kissed him as if he might never have the chance again, holding him by his waist. Liam threw his arms around Stiles’ neck, exploring the inside of his mouth fervently, moving his tongue slowly.

They were still sitting, so Stiles delicately lay Liam on the bed and lay on the top of him without pulling away from the kiss. He pressed his body to the younger boy’s, warmness emanating from both of them. At this point, Stiles was so hard he couldn’t help but thrust ever so slightly, pressing his growing bulge on Liam’s.

As he did so, the younger boy moaned softly, and that made Stiles crazy. He placed his right leg between both Liam’s legs, thrusting harder and kissing and sucking on every inch of Liam’s neck. Stiles was so up for it (in every sense) that he was surprised at himself. They were both sweating and breathing harder, their hearts beating at an inhumanly pace.

The older boy stopped for a moment to breathe, looking down at Liam. The kid’s face was bright red and his eyes seemed bluer than ever. He looked so young that Stiles felt weird about what was happening. He wasn’t much younger, but something on his face didn’t seem right. He was hard too, and he responded to Stiles kisses and thrusting, but he still looked _unsure_.

“Are you okay there?” Stiles asked, smiling a little.

“Y-yeah,” Liam stuttered, breaking eye-contact.

Stiles planted a quick peck on his lips and lay on the boy’s right side on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He rested his hands on his chest and closed his eyes. He could feel Liam’s gaze at him, and more than that; he could _feel_ the beta was undoubtedly frowning.

Liam felt bad for spoiling the moment. The chances of that happening again were so small. What if Stiles freaked out and never talked to him again? What if he came to his senses and realized he feels nothing for Liam?

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Stiles interrupted the boy’s thoughts. He sighed and then said, “It’s okay if you’ve changed your mind…”

Liam turned to his side and Stiles opened his eyes as he did the same. They were now facing each other. Liam scanned the older boy’s face. He was so pale, but right now he was blushing. His lips were pinkish and full, and he had a serious expression. He looked sexy and it made Liam want to punch himself in the face.

“I didn’t change my mind about you,” Liam whispered. It was true. “I just-,” he started.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, really. It’s okay.” Stiles interrupted.

“No, listen.” Liam said. He closed his eyes and opened them again. “I’m scared, okay? About everything that’s happening, cause I’m not like you or Scott. I almost got killed twice, I’m on that hit list and assassins will come looking for me. Then there’s that crazy werewolf woman, Argent’s sister, and those monsters she controls. And besides, Scott is always trying to save everyone. Like, his on the top of the list, but he’s always saving everyone’s lives and risking his own, and I’m not like him! I can’t do that, I’m scared.” he finished, feeling helpless.

At first, a rush of relief hit Stiles, because he wasn’t the problem. And then he felt an overwhelming empathy towards the boy. The reason why Liam was always frowning suddenly became very clear; of course he was frightened! He was just a kid who got dragged into this supernatural hazardous world against his own will, and he’s been in constant danger ever since. His situation wasn’t unlike Stiles’ or Scott’s. The only difference was that the two older boys ended up just getting used to the storm of shit that hit them every day. Also, they’ve always had each other.

 It unexpectedly struck Stiles how lonely Liam must be. His parents weren’t even home apparently. He was all alone in this giant house, and in this horrible new world; he couldn’t even tell his best friend Mason, or his family, about all the stuff that was going on without putting them in danger too.

Stiles pulled Liam closer and hugged him tightly. Liam was taken by surprise, but let the older boy pull him closer nonetheless. He felt butterflies in his stomach as he held Stiles too. They stayed in that position until their arms went numb. Stiles pulled back first, but he kept his right hand resting on Liam’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to hang out with us. You don’t have to do dangerous shit with us. In fact, I don’t even want you to do that. I want you safe, alright? I want you calm and not angry with yourself or anything. It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared too, believe me. We all are, so don’t feel bad about it. Just please don’t push your friends and family away…” Stiles said. “Don’t push _me_ away…” he added.

Liam’s mouth was shaped as an ‘o’. He probably wasn’t expecting the pep talk, but he was glad Stiles was so understanding and kind. He couldn’t bring himself to form sentences at that moment, so he just placed his right elbow on the mattress, lifting his body up slightly so he could lean forward and kiss Stiles. The older boy was surprised for a few seconds, so he kept his eyes opened and didn’t move at first. He then closed his eyes and placed his hand on Liam’s cheek. The kiss was slow and gentle, kind of innocent even. Liam pulled back and set an unreadable expression on his face.

“Do you want me to go?” Stiles asked.

“No… Please stay?” Liam said, uncertain.

Stiles hesitated before answering.

“Ok, I can do that.” he replied.

Liam smiled and lay on the mattress again. He motioned for Stiles to turn around so they could cuddle. The older boy did so, and he was the little spoon once again.


End file.
